A True and Accurate Report

Throughout the magnificence of girl spa week, I read Laura’s diary with amusement, and not a little pity. Our resident Cranky Publicist and game-hater tolerates much enforced fun. I found myself pleased (as her ‘friend’) she embraced the release and comfort of a diary to express her emotional distress.

Without that release and comfort I fear I may have found her one quiet morning clutching the Wii remote, gibbering at the scoreboard while she chewed on the remains of scattered Scrabble tiles.

There’s always next year.

Meanwhile, our beleaguered Laura had a couple close calls on yet more enforced fun by barely missing qualifying for second rounds in Scrabble and Bowling. Still, a miss is as good as a mile, isn’t it?

I must add something here. I also played Scrabble–though I don’t qualify for prizes as the host. My bed of pain must also be documented. I played the ENTIRE game with two–count them–two vowels. Both Es. One in the first draw, and just one more somewhere in the middle of the game. Two. Vowels. Unless the rules open up to the official language of Pluto, a player with two vowels is screwed.

(Still I didn’t place last altogether. I will refrain from naming those who played their rounds with a reasonable number of vowels whose scores ranked below mine.)

Nicole, with her ear infection and URI and antibiotics nipped Laura by two tiny points in the first Scrabble round. And Pat skimmed by her in Bowling.

Let me take this time to add our Pat is no fan of Scrabble. It was with great compassion I approached Pat one morning, slipped my arm around her tender shoulders. I have some terrible news, I said. I’m so sorry to have to tell you. You’re in the second round of Scrabble.

She wept a little, but I was there for her.

Pat is even less of a fan of Just Dance. Once again, I had to deliver hard, distressing news. Yes, she qualified for Round Two. As the news sank in, she attacked a butler. 

However, I find it odd that someone who expresses such distaste for certain games plays well enough to move to the next round. I suspect a hustle.

We must all bow to Mary Kay Of The Golden Ball for her consistent bowling skills. We must because she reminds us regularly, and likes to point out the shine of that Golden Ball.

It is pretty.

Jeannette’s turn.
JoAnne’s turn
Mary’s turn
Laura counting all the pins, in vain
The Woman with the Golden Ball. All Hail Mary Kay!

Kat dominated Scrabble. Others may strive, may sweat and may struggle, but it’s a rare game when our Kat doesn’t lay down a full seven letter word sometime during the game, usually involving a Q on a double letter box and on a triple word score. She destroys all comers, and smiles her Kat smile.

Not Scrabble but that Kat smile.

It’s also Kat and Sarah who dominate trivia as much due to their snake-like reflexes as their knowledge of useless facts. And math. (Why are there any questions involving math?) At the end of that particular game Sarah crushed the competition with more than 17,000 points. But then Elaine comes out of nowhere in her round and nips by Kat’s impressive score.

The perfect shot by Patricia Gaffney

Going into the final rounds, we had Elaine (yes, Fearsome but also a sneakily quiet competitor) and Sarah neck-in-neck with the surprise of Nicole as a dark horse. Who would be crowned Queen?

Sarah destroys Elaine in Trivia! Will Nicole triumph in Scrabble??? Please, she had to play Kat. But perhaps she’ll reach Golden Ball status in Bowling against Elaine. Nope. The dark horse falls.

Down to the dance, Sarah and Elaine, all for the crown. Their focus is intense, their moves poetry. As the music ends, Elaine has eked out the narrowest win in Spa Girl history!

All hail The Queen!

Still, we must finish with Reverse Charades. Mostly because it’s the funniest game ever. Even there, perhaps flush from her previous victories and already insured crown, Elaine dominates. But then, I ask you, how does one (or a group as it’s Reverse Charades) act out the word Cactus?

There is truth that as Elaine (not-so-humbly) accepts the coveted plastic tiara and Bedazzled scepter, Laura must clip on (after a quick repair) the pitiful pink earrings of the Loser. In an attempt to be Solomon, I suggested she and Mary each wear one, as their sad, sad scores all but matched. But the crowd called for Laura.

Popular demand counts.

It’s not, however, all games during spa week. Jo and I–and most days Kat–started our day with workouts, and as the mornings warmed after the middle of the week, followed those with long walks with flowers blooming and the sun shining.

I’d see Laura briefly–coffee for Laura, then a round at the gym, usually with Nicole. Maybe a little breakfast in the Lounge, maybe some of us poking through the shops. Lots of: What treatment are you having today? And some contented meeting up in the Relaxation Room prior, or the locker room after where we’d compare our bliss.

Quiet reading corners, or drinks on the sunny patio, room service, naps. Ice cream night!! (Thanks, Mary Kay.) Lots of laughs, lots of hugs, lots of adult beverages.

Girl vibes–and they’re as rejuvenating as a hot stone massage. My parents didn’t give me any sisters, so I found them. Fate didn’t give me daughters, so I found them, too.

Best week ever with all my girls.


23 thoughts on “A True and Accurate Report”

  1. I’m another Laura that agrees with your Laura, I. HATE. GAMES! When my family plays board games and/or the Wii, I’m the official cheerleader, I do NOT play! Even though I always win at SCRABBLE (years of crossword puzzles and reading 3 books a week), I still don’t like competing against others. I also have to admit I don’t like looking foolish or silly doing the Wii bowling and dances(a big favorite of my family). They’ve come to accept my cheerleader role, so as Nora’s the host and thereby must participate, I suggest that your Laura put herself forth as the official cheerleader next year; clapping, applauding, pouring adult beverages for everyone and having a better time!

  2. Thank you Nora for giving your perspective, though I’m sure Laura’s was accurate in her mind. ? It is a wonderful thing you do for all your friends every year. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have such good friends to share that type of bond. Safe travels and see you at GNO.

  3. I always loved hearing about spa week from you Nora! I will miss you ladies very much. I will continue to follow your adventures. You are trely a wonderful lady and it was a pleasure to know you over the years as one of your therapists.

    Bobbie Shultz, LMT

  4. Thanks for sharing this week with us, it was so much fun as always. I hope someone takes good care of the Board until next year, not Laura though. 🙂

  5. I was thinking how nice it would be to have so many friends. Cherish them!

    I’ve only ever had one friend at a time, and since living here I have none. Right now no friends, family, or church. When I die there won’t be anyone if there is a funeral.

    All things are paid for, so I’m ready to go no matter who shows up.

    Cherish your friends and your life!


  6. What a wonderful week to have with such wonderful friends ! That is the beauty of the week — that’s what you can’t put in a bottle and sell “friendship” — hope you have many more – and Laura will survive ! Lol!

  7. Sisters are so nice to have. No matter how they come into your life. ?

  8. Thanks to you and Laura for the peeks at Spa Week. It brought back many memories of my time in So Cal before I retired and was fortunate enough to be in a similar and fun group. I highly recommend this type of “therapy” … tho’ we also had a round of a game that involved team singing (very humbling) but I’ve forgotten the name of that game ?. Thanks again for sharing.

  9. Thanks for the “other” point of view. Sounds like a great week both from the Cranky Publicist and the Authors side.

  10. Sounds like so much fun! I’m so glad all of you do this every year- we get to enjoy thru your reports! Girl time is the best!

  11. Thanks for the replay of Spa Week. It is marvelous that you have a group of friends to do that with. What do you suppose Eve would do with an outing like that??? LOL!!

    1. Eve would have to be dragged on a trip like that. Wouldn’t it be such fun to read?

  12. Lovely, humorous recap. So glad you have found your sister and daughters with whom to share fun and friendship. I so enjoy your and Laura’s blogs. Thank you for giving me a smile of joy.

  13. Isn’t it awesome, when the sisters or daughters find you? I had to laugh at your Pluto reference, since my best friend’s favorite t-shirt is “Bring Back Pluto”. Are the thin scarves everyone’s wearing in the group shot part of the winnings? That would be a cool reminder through the year of an awesome week. Thanks, again, for so generously sharing part of your life.

  14. Nora,
    What a wonderful week, with winners, losers and Friends. They all love you and you love them so all of you are winners one way or another… Love Triumph’s.

    Reading your blog and Laura’s Diary has helped me deal with a very hard time. I lost my beloved brother. But as healing starts I read the posts, laugh and sigh and love the comments.

    I am so glad that you found your girls. It is something to treasure all around… Have an awesome week… Beth
    This website says that it thinks I am a spambot…. I have not been able to publish this comment… this is an add on since it says that I have already said this… hmmm

  15. I had fun reading Laura’s post. She is so funny. And a good sport to boot. I also laughed at your words- is boner really a legit word?

  16. Thank you for sharing your spa week and for your enjoying being with the girls. I find myself a tad envious of all of you being able to do this, but its okay.
    Take care and blessings to all of you.

  17. Darn it! I want to go to Spa Week! I promise to lose at everything. Really! Just let me come!

  18. The worst is Monopoly which goes on for feaking ever !!!

    That being said….who could not have a fabulous time with ine’s sisterhood! Go Ladies!!!

  19. I knew it . . . not only can you pound out a great read, but you (if one gleans your comment as I did) dislike math. I may not share your affinity for exercise (drat that), but I, too, am a math disliker.

    All Hail the Queen, the boner gigglers, and the math-natter!

  20. Oh my goodness, I love this, all of this. The week or weekend, the competition, the love, the laughter. You are all blessed, and your ‘reviews’ blessed me thank you!

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