Favorite In Death quotes

Readers mention how much they love the dialogue in the In Deaths, so I thought it might be fun to have a thread in which readers can post their favorite lines — maybe we’ll figure out a Reader Top 10.

What is your favorite bit of In Death dialogue?  Those one or two lines between characters you can’t forget? (And nothing that’s a spoiler.) Post the speaker(s) and the book in the comments. If someone mentions yours just reply that you agree.

Me first:

Eve: Man. God. Roarke.
Roarke: An interesting and flattering lineup.
– Purity in Death


199 thoughts on “Favorite In Death quotes”

  1. Man, oh man I have many favorite lines but here’s a funny one.

    “A cop? You married a bloody cop?”

    “I married a bloody criminal,” Eve muttered, “but nobody ever thinks of that.”

    ― J.D. Robb, Vengeance in Death

  2. I thought this was a funny one:

    Divided in Death Eve talks to Rourke about Mavis and the baby…..”How often do you see Mavis with a naked face?”

  3. Origin in Death….Peabody sets up a girls night with Eves favorite person, Trina. Eve finds out and tells Peabody..”What have you done?…..I’ll kill you. Rip out your internal organs with my bare hands then strangle you with your own large intestine.” Peabody responds, “can I get my hair my hair extensions first?”
    One of the best between Peabody and Eve.

    1. And then Roarke says “You could always kill Trina,” and Eve replies “I don’t think she can be killed.” 🙂

  4. Morris – You think you can handle anything I this job. Stand anything. But sweet Christ, that child almost had me on the floor.
    Roarke – Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, in every gesture dignity and love. (From Paradise Lost by Milton)
    This is from Survivor In Death, when Nixie visited her family in the morgue.

  5. “I am a ranking officer. If you call me a bitch, you’d better damn well put Lieutenant in front of it.” – Eve, Promises in Death

    1. I was receiving an infusion, laughed so hard while reading that line, laughed out loud, everyone looked at me…I said, unless you read In Death you wouldn’t understand…

  6. “Ah fuck me. You tranq’d the soup.’
    “Yeah I did”

    -Portrait in Death

    Hands down my absolute favorite part in my favorite book.

    1. Yeah, I love it when she turns that around, and Eve is the one caring for Roarke. So often it’s the other way around.

  7. I have a lot of them. Mostly they’re the funny ones.

    Dallas: And if you roll your eyes at me again, I’m going to poke them out with a stick.
    Peabody: You don’t have a stick.
    Dallas: There’s a tree right over there. I’ll get one.

    Strangers in Death.
    Dallas: Please don’t make me slap you. It’s so damn girly.

    Chaos in Death.

  8. All the discussions between Eve and Roarke about Mavis delivering the baby. And any thought of Eve about pregancy. Those are so funny…

    1. Like this one? Hilarious!

      “He stepped to her again, laid his lips on her brow. “But I want children with you, my lovely Eve. One day.”

      “One day being far, far in the future. Like, I don’t know, say a decade when…Hold on. Children is plural.”

      He eased back, grinned. “Why, so it is–nothing slips by my canny cop.”

      “You really think if I ever actually let you plant something in me–they’re like aliens in there, growing little hands and feet.” She shuddered. “Creepy. If I ever did that, popped a kid out–which I think is probably as pleasant a process as having your eyeballs pierced by burning, poisonous sticks, I’d say, ‘Whoopee, let’s do this again?’ Have you recently suffered head trauma?”

      “Not to my knowledge.”

      “Could be coming. Any second.”

      ― J.D. Robb, Survivor In Death

    2. Born in Death
      Eve -” Why is this my position?” – she was maneuvered to the bottom of the bed when Mavis was giving birth.
      Eve -” I think we should switch” – to Roarke who answered -“There is no power in heaven or hell that could make me go down there.” He glanced in the mirror angled for Mavis, “Oh, God! My eyes!”

  9. This is a serious one but I love the sentiment-
    “Here’s love to hold until next we meet and I give you more……”
    Aunt Sinead to Roarke in Indulgence in Death

  10. my favorite quote, and i think it’s from promises in death,

    is where eve is talking to roarke and she’s in a panic because she needs a thing for the thing and she doesn’t even know what the thing is supposed to be.
    and roarke knows EXACTLY what’s she talking about,

    That she needs a gift for the bridal shower………..

    it’s my favorite quote of the whole series thus far

  11. I have so many, but 1 from “Delusion” had me laughing:
    Eve-Then it won’t be hard to do it all again. Be scary Roarke-lite.
    Roarke-Excuse me?
    Eve-You know what I mean. I don’t want them to piss themselves. I just want them off balance.

    Another in same book, but Roarke & Reineke:
    Roarke-I’d say being fashionable is more important to him than getting laid.
    Reineje- Sick fuck.

    1. Then later when Reineke overhears Eve offering Roarke lots of sex for finding the lab Roarke grins and says “I’m not a sick fuck”

  12. “Roarke, what’s going on here?”
    “Lieutenant. Indications are we’re having a romance.”
    One of my favourites from Naked. 🙂

  13. Love whenever eve expresses her love and her concerns to roarke. Such a strong woman and yet so vulnerable to him.I know you love me but I don’t know why.I look at you and get why its me.everything I get my balance I lose it because it shouldn’t be me and it would kill me if you ever figured it out

  14. Eve- people tend to blab after a bang. Roarke- I’ll be sure to guard my tongue. Eve- It’s usually tired from all the work during the bang.
    Celebrity in Death

  15. My alltime favorite is from Innocent…
    Summerset- “You Lieutenant, are often crude, you are certainly rude, and have very little sense of how to be a wife-in public- to a man in Roarke’s position. And you would do anything, no matter what the personal risk, to keep him from harm. She will never love him, you will never do anything but.”

    1. Summerset certainly had his reasons for looking down at Eve, but he knows she’s the best thing for Roarke, EVER, and they both work well together to see that Roarke is taken care of, and when something’s up with Eve, Summerset is right on the house link to report to Roarke that something’s wrong with her.

    2. Oh, wow – that’s well written because it means everything that’s important, doesn’t it.

  16. My favorite is from Indulgence in Death, when Eve and Roarke are in Ireland visiting his relatives.
    “What was that? Did you hear that?” Naked, she leaped out of bed to grab the clutch piece she’d left on the little bedside table. “There! There it is again! What language is that?”
    From the bed, Roarke shifted. “I believe it’s known as rooster.”

    1. Oh gosh! I’d forgotten …this was one of my many laugh out loud moments in the series! Haha! Love it.

    1. Oh thank you! I have said or thought this to myself a million times and never knew where I got it from. My neighbor asked me what does that mean? I don’t know. Where did you get that from? I don’t know. Well, finally now I know. Wonder how I didn’t know that.

  17. (Roarke) “…But he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.”

    (Eve) “But you’re smarter than even he thinks he is.” She paused, thought that through. “If you get me.”

    (Roarke) “Aren’t we full of compliments tonight? I’ll have to bang you against the wall more often.”

    Eternity In Death.

  18. “When we’re done, we’ll have some dinner with a river view. Sounds like a plan. Nothing fancy, okay? Pizza and beer. Are you trying to seduce me?”

  19. “Within two days, the bodies of the three men were found floating in the Chattahoochee River-chained together.”
    “The what river? Did you make that up?”
    “I suppose I could have, but no. I suspect some Native Americans did that a few centuries ago.”
    “I think it’d be embarrassing to be dead in the Hoochie-Coochie River.”

    -Roark & Eve, Promises in Death

      1. I love it when she mixes metaphors too – this one is one of my favourites:

        Eve: Business is dog eat cat, right?
        Roarke: Dog.
        Eve: I said dog.
        Roarke: Dog eat dog.
        Eve: That’s just stupid. Dogs eat cats. Everybody knows that.
        Roarke: I stand corrected. Business is dog eat cat.

  20. From Born in Death:

    Eve–I think it really stinks that you’ll be out drinking beer somewhere while I’m stuck at Baby Central. Just because you have a penis

    Roarke–We’ll think very fondly of you, me and my penis.

  21. This is one of my favorites.

    I believe in fate, in destiny and also in giving fate a good twist of the arm when it’s not going your way.” Roarke to Mira, Reunion in Death.

    Here is one more: “Real love’s beautiful, elusive and mean as a snake.” Eve to Julian Cross – Celebrity in Death by JD Robb.

  22. One of my favourite things, although it’s not a quote, is how Nora describes Roarke’s Irish accent in each book. I tend to read that description aloud because it’s always different but always evocative.

  23. I don’t remember the exact quote or the exact title it came from but I have a vivid memory of Mavis’ baby being born and Eve being forced into being in on it and at some point, she blurts out, “Mother of God, My Eyes!”

    1. Roarke said that. The nurse said, oh looks it’s crowning and Roarke automatically looked up at the mirror that’s set up for the mother to see what’s going on. That’s when he said it.

  24. So many great quotes. This one I literally have bookmarked.

    Thankless in Death — JD Robb

    Baxter’s comment Jenkinson’s weird tie followed by: “Your sister bought it for him.” Still quietly working at his comp, Trueheart didn’t even look up. “A token of her esteem.”

    Love the interaction of the squad.

  25. There are so many that I love.

    “If God’s going to make little weasels like him, she’s going to have to listen to complaints.” Glory in Death

    Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?”
    “Sometimes, when it’s very quiet and no one else can see.”
    Promises in Death

    Eve: What is it about asking you Catholic questions that gets you all jumpy?
    Roarke: You’d be jumpy, too, if I asked you things that make you feel the hot breath of hell at your back.
    Eve: You’re not going to hell.
    Roarke: Oh, and have you got some inside intel on that?
    Eve: You married a cop…you married me. I’m your goddamn salvation.”
    Salvation in Death

    Eve: “Keep your mind off sex”
    Roake: “Why? It’s so happy there.” Conspiracy in Death

    The first time I read the following, I nearly choked on my drink!
    “I hear the cock woke you up.”
    Eve choked on her coffee. “What?”
    “Not that kind of cock.” Sinead sent a sparkling look over her shoulder. “Though if that’s true as well, good for you. I meant the rooster.” Indulgence in Death

  26. Can’t remember which In Death but Eve after questioning a witness after a Homicide says “Dear Lord, Please Don’t let me Bitch Slap this Moron”..Hilarious..

  27. I’m not sure what book it’s in. I think maybe Seduction in Death.

    Roarke: Do you have any pain?
    Eve: Yeah. In my ass. I call it Summerset.

    1. I love how Eve can’t say that she likes something, so she says “It doesn’t suck” instead … in a lot of situations, I think!

  28. In Innocent, after Eve decked Roarke then Magdelana, “She passed Summerset in the foyer. She assumed the expression on his face was a grin, but couldn’t be absolutely sure. “You’re going to want to be careful–spreading your mouth like that could split your whole face in half.”
    Summerset: “I thought applauding would be a bit inappropriate.”

    That whole scene is one of my favorites, but this was wonderful!

  29. Eve: “Lust dazzles, sure, at least for the short term. But love clears the vision. You see better, sharper, because you feel more than you did before.”
    Roarke: “That, I think, is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”
    Eve: “It’s not romantic, it’s-”
    Roarke: “Hush.” He laid his lips on hers briefly. “Let me enjoy it.”

  30. From Naked in Death – “That was a charming invitation,” she murmured, then arched a brow when the man peeled open his fly patch and wagged his personality at her. “Oh, look, kitty. A teeny-tiny little penis.” She smiled, leaned just a bit closer. “Better take care of it, asshole, or my pussy here might mistake it for a teeny-tiny little mouse and bite it off.” It made her feel better to see what there was of his pride and joy shrivel before he closed his flaps.”

    Oh and in every in death book

    Eve – Why always so many clothes?

    1. Oh, I LOVED that scene! And a few books later, when Peabody joined her, and the stinky flasher flashed his pride and joy at them on the elevator, and her reaction, which was very similar.

  31. Guys you’re taking so many of the great ones.

    I love the banter between Eve and Peabody. Like the time Eve gives her view on eating the last cookie. Peabody is usually shocked and appalled because what Eve has said is just so wrong but at the same time absolutely true.

    Makes me laugh every time.

  32. No favorite quotes, but I love Eve’s interactions with Dennis Mira, especially at Christmas when he inevitably hones in on just the right thing to say–like how nothing can be truly awful when there’s a Christmas tree to enjoy.

  33. “You brought me the cat.”

    “You brought Mira and Galahad.”

    Both from New York to Dallas

  34. I have a couple, but I can’t remember exactly where they are from:

    One where Roarke is trying to attend Eve’s wounds and he tells her to turn over. She said “Kiss my ass” and he said “Darlin, I will if you’ll just turn over.”

    The other one was when Eve was contemplating (duck? chicken?) some sort of feet hanging at a vendor and she began pondering on how one goes about eating feet….something to the effect of “do you start from the ankle down or….?” (favorite but I can’t remember where it is!!!!)

    1. That was in “imitation in death” after they leave the owner of the apartment the LC lived in (first murder in that book)

  35. Eve loves to use lots of common quotes & phrases; and said to different character in different situation; but Eve some how said it or delivered it innocently in a crooked way as how she see it or using the wrong words in the quote 🙂
    Almost in each book; there was some quote or phrase that been Eve-tro-lized 🙂
    PS: I have all 40+ books; whole series; in my kindle… Will find them & post them later…

    1. I like when Roarke asks her … After the Hoochie Coochie River comment … “Do you do that on purpose?” And her response… “Maybe.”

      1. I feel like a lot of people miss this. Eve is what is colloquially known here in Australia as a “shit stirrer” and seems to have no ego as far as caring how people see her except as a cop. Maybe she even encourages people to underestimate her.

  36. In “Witness in Death”:

    Peabody: “He’s gorgeous, he’s built, he’s smart, and he’s sexy. And he loves you. No, he adores you. He’d jump in front of a speeding maxibus for you.

    Eve “They don’t go very fast.”

    and later in the book

    Eve: “Would you jump in front of a maxibus for me?”
    Roarke: “Absolutely. They don’t go very fast.”

  37. Sadly, I don’t have the book in front of me for the exact quote. But it’s from Origin in Death. It’s 3 am and Eve’s called a meeting with Nadine at the Down and Dirty. Crack lets Nadine in and calls her “sugar tits.” When Nadine complains about the time Eve says something like:
    “and yet you look lovely and apparently your tits are sugar.”

  38. I have dozens of favorites. They rotate into first place regularly. One that I have repeated to people and it always gets a request for the book title is:

    “People are stupid more than half the time.”

    From Memory, Feeney to Eve.

    Feeney can be so profound.

  39. Let’s see. So many to choose from. In the book where Jamie Lingstrom’s grandfather and sister were murdered by the cult – Peabody had an issue with how Eve questioned, I think it was Chas, Isis’ Wiccan cohab? And when she got around to apologizing the next day and asking not to be transferred out, Eve made mention of taking the stick out of her ass and sitting down.

    Anytime Eve essentially asks a sidewalk decoration to “watch” her POS cop car. The whole “bitch cop from hell” routine.

    Most of her interactions with Peabody, especially on the topic of McNab.

    Any interactions between her and Summerset, although a few stand out, including when she was trying to find a Christmas gift for Roarke, and Summerset suggested the first edition, and helped her get it, and when she was going nuts trying to plan a romantic dinner, and he happened on her (really, 5,000 plates?) and he tried to help her without realizing he was helping her, and his silent approval of the things she had already paired together.

    And this, that I just read. Peabody to Eve, right after they left the jewelry supply place in Betrayal in Death, “Yes Mrs. Lt. Dallas Roarke, Ma’am,” copying the owner who was falling all over himself to have “Mrs. Roarke” in his store and trying to give her gifts and such and took such a long time before he could be convinced that she was there as a cop, no, no one called the cops, but she had to talk to him about someone he’d seen. I swear, the only reason he was so cooperative with the other branches of the store was because she is “Mrs. Lt. Dallas Roarke”, and she might convince her husband to come into their store and buy something from them, lol.

  40. I just have to say, I have been laughing out loud as I am reading these favorites. I think it is time to start the whole series over again, don’t you?? (for like the 4th time)

    1. You know, I’m three quarters of the way through them for the… fourth? time, and now I feel like I have to start over so that I can bookmark all the good lines in my eReader!

      1. I have to start at the beginning of the series just before the release of every 2nd or third book so having been introduced to the series more than a decade ago I have completed my 5th read through just before the release of Festive in Death. I feel a bit of a sad sack now that I admit it. Nah. I’m sure I’m not the only one who does that with all their favourite series?!

        1. Oh, you are absolutely not the only one. I do this with this series and with the Jack Reacher series. When books are this well-written , we need to enjoy them!

        2. I have the In Death series in paperback, on my kindle and in my audible collection. yes, I’ve read and listened several times….they are great stories….

  41. Hopefully, someone will recall which book and get it exactly…
    A child had been killed, the daughter of a woman who works as a live-in maid. Eve has just been interviewing the woman who the mother works for, and she is someone Eve has met briefly, someone in Roarke’s social circle. The lady wants Eve on the case, she’s heard from her social circle that Eve is one hell of a cop, and a little bit scary. When talking to Roarke that evening it goes something like this:
    “Your friends say that I’m a little bit scary.”
    With his Irish grin, “Darling, your friends say your a little bit scary.”

  42. Love all of the above ones and find a quote I like in each book of the series but one I like in particular is ‘Jesus bleeding Christ, Roarke. Are you insane?’ …’this is crazy. You can’t expect me to take something like this.’
    From Glory in Death when Roarke gives Eve the tear diamond…

  43. Promises in Death, when the men are going to Vegas for Louise’s shower and Eve (and “all those women”!) has to stay behind for the girl part of the shower and Trina. Eve corners Roarke in his office a bit before they’re going to leave for Vegas: “Take me with you!”, “Let me see your penis.”, “Can’t I just use yours?”.
    But I can’t remember what the line after that is….

  44. I don’t remember the exact words but I loved the “conversation” Eve had with Bella in Treachery In Death when Mavis dumped Bella with Eve to go to the washroom. I loved how Eve told Bella that nobody really understands what she’s gabbing about and how Bella threatened to cry when Eve was not going to give her the biscuit 🙂

  45. cant remember which book. But when Eve is planning a romantic dinner for Roarke

    “What kind of a maniac needs over five thousand plates?”

    The whole scene until Roarke comes in and panics that he may have forgotten some important day by accident is one of my fave!!

  46. Treachery In Death

    Roarke: What in God’s name are you doing?

    Eve: I’m trying to kill the giant tarantula, because the only reason I figure you just fucking flicked me is because there was a big fat spider on my shoulder.

    Roarke: actually I was knocking the chip away that was balanced there. It looked awfully heavy.

    Eve: How do you program this thing for a steaming cup of fuck you?

    This is one of my favorite by-plays between Eve and Roarke.

  47. I absolutely love the one where Eve’s freaking out about having to buy Louise “fuckwear”…cracks me up every time!

  48. There are so many and I can’t come up with one. It’s the situations with Roake, Summerset, Peabody and McNabb Mavis and Trina. When ever Eve is put I. An uncomfortable situation, the best lines happen.
    Thank You Nora/ JD.

  49. I love all that were mentioned. Another favorite is, oh I can’t remember which book but it was recent. The whole Eve/Peabody conversation about penis’ getting tired and gineys, etc. Makes me laugh every time.

    1. This is from Fantasy in Death as Eve and Peabody were just into the investigation of Bart Minnock.

  50. I don’t remember which book… but the one in which Eve n Peabody are talking about watching the news and Eve goes into a rant of sorts about how there is no point in watching current events today and at the end of it Peabody says “My head hurts… I can’t help but think there is something flawed in what you are saying but I can’t think because my head hurts”… I don’t think that’s word to word but thereabouts.
    And of course the mixed metaphors (Hoochi-Coochi River) and that scene from Treachery in Death where Roarke flicks her shoulder and Eve stomps the floor are absolute faves.
    Another fave would be Reineke? Jenkinson? using the word fuck creatively when they arrest the guy shooting Eve in the garage.
    Damn… I keep remembering new ones as I m typing… I think its from Purity
    Eve- Baxter why homicide?
    Baxter- …..Never a dull moment
    Eve- You can say that again
    Baxter- Never a dull moment
    Eve- You are such an ass****

  51. Gosh, there are plenty in every book. I’ve just finished reading Calculated and I am still laughing at this one:

    LC with a black eye to Eve and Peabody: “I’m all about giving freebies to cops, and firefighters, when I can. To show my support.”
    Eve: “And the city of New York thanks you.”

  52. one of my favorites, and I use it a lot.
    ” You can’t live with them, and can’t hit them with a brick.”
    Always good for a laugh.

  53. I love when Eve and Feeney get together to complain about other people and agree with each other completely. I don’t remember which book (I think maybe Festive) and Feeney complains because his wife tells him he has to wear a tux. Eve goes to Roarke and asks him if he is planning on wearing a tux and asks him not to wear one so Feeney won’t have to do so. Neither Feeney nor Eve even think about telling Mrs Feeney “No”.

    1. I love he scene in the cemetery in Ireland and Eve gets a phone call and Roarke and his friend are commenting on Eve’s ladylike language as she is swearing at someone on the phone. I didn’t have an e-reader when I started the series and so don’t remember which book that was from. Can anyone help there?

      Also, I love that Eve can’t report to her commander sitting down.

  54. Can’t remember what book. Rourke said it. “You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room. Just make sure the smartest person in the room is working for you”.

  55. I love everything about Roarke…Here are some favorite quotes

    1.“You saved me, Eve.” He watched her blink in absolute shock. “What you are, what I feel for you, what we are together saved me.” He kept his eyes on hers as he kissed her.”
    ― J.D. Robb, Interlude in Death

    2. “What’s your status?” she asked him.

    “Healthy, wealthy, and wise. What’s yours?”

    “Ha. Mean, crafty, and rude.”
    ― J.D. Robb, Survivor In Death

    This is the sweetest one…

    For once, he slept first. She lay in the dark, listening to him breathe, stealing a little of his warmth as her own body cooled. Since he was asleep, she stroked his hair.

    “I love you,” she murmured. “I love you so much, I’m stupid about it.”

    With a sigh, she settled down, closed her eyes, and willed her mind to empty.
    Beside her, Roarke smiled into the dark.

    He never slept first.”
    ― J.D. Robb, Ceremony in Death

  56. I have lots of favourite quotes and byplays but my all time favourite is by Eve “I’d be laughing my ass off but then where would I sit” not sure which book but I laughed like a loon after reading that line.

  57. from Innocent In Death

    (Roarke) We’re not done here. You’ll hear me out….I had that hole in me, that empty space….Then one day I felt something—a prickle at the back of my neck, a heat at the base of my spine….I turned, and there you were….From that moment, the hole inside me began to fill. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop what rooted there, or what grew. She (Magdelana) put it in me, you filled it..Can you understand that whatever it was I felt for her it’s nothing. It’s so pale, so thin and weak compared to what I feel for you….She was part of my life. You are my life. If I have a regret, it’s that even for an instant you could think otherwise. Or that I allowed you to.

  58. There are countless quotes that make me laugh, usually between Eve and Roarke; like this one In New York to Dallas
    “What kind of cop shop is this, with fancy art on the walls and uniforms who give you a big smile instead of the beady eye?”
    “You’re New York in Dallas.”
    “Buck up, darling. I’m sure somewhere in this facility someone’s getting the beady eye”

  59. Judgement in Death

    Eve: “I work for the dead. I can’t count the number of them I’ve stood over. I don’t think I could stand to try. But I dream of them. All those lost faces, those stolen lives. It’s hard.”
    She was surprised she was telling him this, surprised it seemed the way. “Sometimes it’s so hard to see those faces in your sleep, you wake up hurting. But I can’t do anything else. I’ve wanted to be a cop as long as I can remember. It was my one clear vision, and it’s all I can do.”

    Conspiracy in Death
    Unnerved, Summerset moved quickly to the communication center. “Roarke, the lieutenant has just come in from outside. She wore no outer gear. She looks very bad.”
    “Where is she?”
    “She’s heading up. Roarke, I insulted her and….she apologized to me. Something must be done.”

  60. “Can we not talk about shoes in the box that still smells of evildoer?”–Eve Delusion in Death

  61. Eve – “I have to go shopping!”

    Roarke – “I’m sorry, I believe I must have had a small stroke. What did you say?”

    From Promises in Death when Eve realises she hasn’t bought a gift for Louise’s wedding shower the following day.

  62. Agree w/all the above. And would like to add that on the audio, Ms. Susan Erickson just makes all the conversations so much more memorable.
    Oh—I really love that Roarke still keeps the button from Eve’s ugly suit in his pocket 🙂

  63. Just found another one:

    from Promises in Death,

    Eve: “Is that it? All finished now? Or would you like to give examples of Mr. Ricker’s kindness to the little orphaned children and small puppies?”

    Harry Proctor looked down his important nose, “I’ll make a note of your sarcasm and discourteous attitude.”

    Eve: “My partner here keeps them on disc.”

    “I can get you a copy, ” Peabody offered.

  64. When they were alone again, Roarke stared down at his plate. “Why do you suppose I chose this morning to want my eggs sunny- side up?”

    “They do look like a pair of nice, shiny yellow breasts.” Grinning, Eve plucked up a piece of bacon. “And Mavis has been known to paint hers yellow on occasion.”

    “Every time she feeds the baby, I feel so…rude.”

    “I thought it was freaked.”

    “A bit of that, but more intrusive. It seems so intimate.”

    “I’d say we’re both going to have to get over it. We’ve got to get moving. Eat your boobies.”

  65. Somerset, “Lieutenant, you’re late, again. ”
    Eve,” Yeah, well tomorrow I could be on time and you’ll still be ugly with a stick up your ass. ”
    Her back and forth with Somerset cracks me up. I know that they have a grudgingly respect for one another, but they’ll never be close.
    This is one of the top ten. I can’t remember which book as I’m catching up from the beginning.
    Ha ha .

  66. Here’s another one. Just sticks with me.

    Peabody: (Upon watching a significantly suggestive looking droid get her owner) If all she does is vacuum, I’m a size 2.
    Dallas: Maybe she vacuums. After she polishes the old man’s brass.
    Roarke: Women are so crude.

    Not sure but this might have been Creation.

  67. From Ritual in Death:

    Eve: “He’s got a mean bedside manner”

    Peabody: “So do you, sir.”

  68. Thankless: Eve to McNab:
    That woul save time thanks but for christs sake show your badge so they don’t take you for an escapee from the circus.

  69. This makes me laugh every time I hear it –
    “Drop the fucking weapon, you fucking motherfucker or I’ll fucking scramble your fucking brains. Hands up! Hands where I can fucking see them, you fucking cocksucker. You fucking breathe wrong, you fucking blink wrong, and I will fuck you up.

    Fucker.” Jacobsen snarled it as he shoved Marcell to the ground. “On your fucking face, you fucking shit coward. Stream my lieutenant in the fucking back? Fuck you.”
    Treachery in Death

  70. I adore Eve’s paranoia –
    “Statues are too much like dolls, and dolls are creepy. You keep expecting them to blink. And the ones that smile, like this?” Eve kept her lips tight together and she curved them up. “You know they’ve got teeth in there. Big, sharp, shiny teeth.”

    “I didn’t. But now I’ve got to worry about it.”
    Salvation in Death

    “Some science guy’s creating them in the lab.” Her voice darkened. “One day they’re going to make a mistake—a big one—and mutant clone cows are going to revolt and start eating people. You wait and see.”
    Survivor in Death

    “(Eve)”Hold on. You have to give them a gift for moving?”
    “Uh-huh. Plus they’re shacking, so it should be a couple thing.” She (Mavis) ate another canape, fed on to Leonardo.
    “Why does there have to be a gift for every damn thing?” Eve complained.
    “Retail conspiracy.” Roarke patter her knee.
    “I bet it is,” Eve said darkly. “I just bet it is.”
    Visions in Death

  71. “Vending Machine: “This product has no known nutritional value and may cause irritability or wakefulness in some individuals. Please enjoy your selection and your day.”
    Eve: “Up yours.”
    Betrayal in Death

    “How white is an Irishman’s ass?” Eve wondered out loud.
    “You should know, darling.”
    New York to Dallas

    “What time is it in New York?”
    He shook his head. “An hour later than it is here. The earth simply has to revolve, Eve, however annoying it is for you.”
    “It can revolve all it wants. I just don’t see why people can’t settle on the same time.”
    New York to Dallas

  72. “Task complete. Shut it down.”

    Unable to comply, the computer responded.

    “I finished.”

    Inaccurate statement. Previous command stipulated all listed reports and evaluations must be complete before system rest. This command by Dallas, Lieutenant Eve, priority basis, can only be countermanded at her order by fire, terrorist attack, alien invasion or an open and active case requiring her attention …

    Jesus, had she really programmed that? “I changed my mind.”

    Previous command specifies changes of mind, fatigue, boredom, and other lame excuses not acceptable for countermand …

    “Bite me,” Eve muttered.”
    New York to Dallas

  73. “Hey. Hands off.” “,
    “Please. Please, please, soooo pretty. Lemme just have one little touch.”
    “Peabody, isn’t it embarrassing enough you’re wearing pink cowboy boots, again, without standing here drooling on my coat?”
    Celebrity in Death

  74. “Stop it, you idiots.” Eve stepped between them, prepared to deck both if necessary. “You’re staying in Dublin, Brian, because the only thing this bastard’s getting a taste of is me. I’ll have your travel visa blocked, and if you try to leave the country you’ll spend some quality time in lockup.”
    “Travel visa be damned — ”
    “Shut up. And you,” she continued, swinging to Roarke. “Step back. Nobody’s beating any- one unconscious unless it’s me. A couple days in Ireland and all you can think of is punching somebody. Must be the air.”
    Her ‘link beeped. “That’s Peabody. Now, the two of you remember: People who act like assholes get treated like assholes.”
    She stalked away to take the call. Brian’s face broke out in a wide grin as he slapped Roarke on the back. “That’s a woman, isn’t it?”
    “Delicate as a rose, my Eve. Fragile and quiet-natured.” He grinned himself when he heard her curse, loud and vicious. “A voice like a flute.”
    “And you’re sloppy in love with her.”

  75. I don’t remember the book or the exact quote, but it’s early in the series when Peabody and McNab are still sniping at one another (before they start their relationship), and Peabody tells McNab to stop annoying the Lieutenant, and Dallas comments “Actually, the Lieutenant rather liked that one”.

    I love the banter between Peabody and Dallas. In one of the books (I’ve re-read them so many times, it’s hard to remember), Dallas had driven like mad back to Cop Central, and was ranting about people not pulling over when they heard a siren. “And the maxibus just kept going, la-la-la”. Peabody (shaking in her shoes) The maxibus was not saying la-la-la, it was screaming in abject terror!”

    So many quotes – always the verbal battle between Dallas and Summerset.

  76. Okay. I have been cracking up reading all these favorite moments (as they are also mine and there is always at least a couple LOL moments in every book). What gets me is how in the world you all remember what book your favorite is in! Wow. I’m on my 4th go round from beginning of series and feeling like I also need to start over again bookmarking stuff…

    The great thing about CRS? You can reread over and over and it’s still a surprise.

  77. I have so many, it’s not even funny, but here are just a few.

    “We’re all-inclusive in Homicide, ’cause whatever your race, color, or creed, you can get dead.” – Jenkinson “Festive In Death”

    In “Reunion In Death” when Eve and Roarke were in Dallas and they were making love and he was telling her all the things he loved about her. She had tears in her eyes and she told him “You’ve made me beautiful.” So lovely.

    “Yoshi, life is never as long as we want it to be, and wasted time can never be recovered.” -Roarke
    “A proverb.” – Tokimoto
    “No. It’s my way of telling you to make a goddamn move.” – Roarke “Divided In Death”

  78. This one’s from Divided in Death
    Nadine: “Is that so you can yell at me for being in your office, or is it so we can exchange juicy girl secrets.”
    Eve: “I don’t have any juicy girl secrets.”
    Nadine: “You’re married to Roarke. You’d have the juiciest on or off planet.”
    Eve: “Have I ever told you what he can do to the female body with a single fingertip?”
    Nadine: “No.”
    Eve: “Good. Just wanted to be sure.”
    Nadine: “Bitch.”

  79. I have had a great time reading everyone’s favorites and agree with all of them. But one I didn’t see mentioned that is my most memorable is Eve talking to the media liaison in Creation “Tact’s just bullshit with spit polish over it”. Words to live by!

  80. From Portrait…..Informal interview with Hastings…”I have seen her face somewhere, but I don’t know her. Why would I kill someone I don’t know, when I know so many people who irritate me, and I haven’t killed any of them”

  81. My favorite quote is where Eve is talking to Magdelana and taps her wedding ring and says “You, you’re one of many, me I’m the one.

  82. Favorite from Creation:

    **Mavis has just left after breastfeeding Bella in front of Eve/Roarke.

    When they were alone again, Roarke stared down at his plate. “Why do you suppose I chose this morning to want my eggs sunny-side up?”

    “They do look like a pair of nice shiny yellow breasts.” Grinning, Eve plucked up a piece of bacon. “And Mavis has been known to paint hers yellow on occasion.”

    “Every time she feeds the baby, I feel so. . .rude.”

    “I thought it was freaked.”

    “A bit of that, but more intrusive. It seems so intimate.”

    “I’d say we’re both going to have to get over it. We’ve got to get moving. Eat your boobies.”

  83. From judgement: Mavis and Eve’s drunken byplay. The whole thing was eye watering funny. Then later Roarke’s ” we’re not done yet”

  84. Hilly: “I know you too, Peabody! Is it just amazing working with Eve Dallas? Is it just like ultra-abso-mag?”

    Peabody” “I’m living the dream.”

    Obsession in Death

  85. i love when she starts to worry about the cattle and the sheep, and what will happen if they take over the world.

  86. Roarke- Eve please don’t stand there and shovel that bullshit at my feet. These are good shoes.
    Eve to Summerset- I’ll take the stick out of your ass and beat you with it.
    I don’t remember which books.

  87. Does anyone know which book it is where Summerset comes upon here in her office, while she’s having a nightmare? I can’t remember which book it it. I do remember home telling Roarke that he should have been told about Eve.

  88. I’ll give you two: I never in my life expected anyone would love me, all of me. How would I deserve that? What would I do with it? But you do.- Eve from Divided in Death

    “Trust built slowly for some, but once constructed, became strong as steel.”- Secrets in Death

  89. I just finished reading the entire series (again). Am nearly done with Leverage (for the 2nd time already). Now I have to start all over again because the quotes are so great.

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